“What were his symptoms?” was the most frequently asked question after finding out that my four-year-old had leukemia. At first, I was taken aback by the question. Why did it matter? I thought. We were in treatment now, moving on—at laser speed. I had no time to pause, to process the chaotic events leading up to his diagnosis. And yet, the awareness gnawed through my reality that first night in the hospital. In Standing at Water’s Edge, I write: After a day of seeking answers and direction, confusion cornered me. Why did I allow his symptoms to drag on for so long? I admonished myself during those dark, vulnerable hours of solitude and exhaustion. “Two months [...]

“The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.”― Robert Jordan, The Fires of Heaven How do you know if you are resilient? Are you able to get through an extreme setback or life challenge by facing the situation head on and accepting it as a new reality, coping with the immediate challenge, then getting through and bouncing back stronger and more capable than before? Or, do you tend to emotionally react, become numb or immobilized, see yourself as a victim of circumstance, or let it define who you are? Or are you somewhere in the middle, as most of us are? Take a free quiz to [...]

I’m a nurse. A cancer nurse. “Isn’t it depressing?” ask the innocent, but brave, conversationalists. The patients don’t ask. They know. They see the compassion in our eyes and feel our warm and caring hand on theirs as we expertly assess, treat, teach them new skills, problem solve, and advocate for them. We listen for what’s not said as much as for what is said. We shepherd them through the complex healthcare system that increasingly demands their own self-advocacy. And yet, for all we give, we get more in return. “No,” I always reply. “It’s my patients who have taught me how to live.” I’ve been saying this for thirty years. And I have heard other [...]

Are you a survivor? Do you know a survivor? We are all survivors of something. Illness is a universal human condition, and most of us have survived some acute or chronic ailment. Or we are a caregiver—surviving together—for someone living with a serious illness such as heart disease, stroke, cancer, diabetes, liver or lung disease, mental illness, addiction, paralysis, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, Crohn’s disease, Lyme disease, or other chronic inflammatory, autoimmune or immune pathologies. And, of course, we can be a survivor of other adverse life events, such as trauma, abuse, violence, war, imprisonment. The list seems endless, and adverse life events can happen at any time in one’s life. My oldest son is a childhood [...]

What does it mean to have hope? To expect something positive, meaningful, and affirming. Is everyday hope different from the hope we feel when faced with serious illness or disability? In the year before my son was diagnosed with leukemia, I did a research study asking thirty-two adult patients with cancer what gave them hope. It was a qualitative study—my team interviewed patients four times over eighteen months, and then we analyzed all of the interviews to extract themes and commonalities. We found five themes, as shown in the figure. The men and women, who were at various stages of treatment and survivorship, found hope by living in the moment, relying on their own inner resources [...]